Mommy No More

My nine year old is on his annual summer trip to my mother's house. Every year since kindergarten he has spent at least two weeks in the Florida sun, being spoiled. Up until now though, he was happy to talk to me on the phone. I was still "Mommy" and he still wanted to know what was going on here at home. This year, however, I have become "Mom". It's amazing what the loss of two letters can do to your heart.

There's the part of me that's proud at how he's growing. He's a straight A student, a top reader, a great artist and a good athlete. Above all else, he's one of those kids that everyone's parents would keep if they could. He's always invited to go somewhere with someone and it makes me proud to know, thus far, I've raised a good kid and a good person. Still, I'm not sure I'm ready to just be mom.

The other half of me is sad. My baby isn't a baby anymore. There's no more hugging in public, despite the fact that his friends all rush to give me a hug. Heaven forbid I kiss him, even on the forhead. He announced to me years ago that I couldn't call him my baby in public because his friends might hear. Now though, I can't call him my baby at home either because, alas, he can hear and he's NOT a baby. I've been told this rather firmly.

I guess that ready or not, here comes the part I've dreaded since he was born. He's growing up and I can't stop him. If only I could lock him up in Neverland so he'd never grow up. Still, I know I can't and I have to face that fact. So, instead of underoos with Spiderman on them, we're buying "grown up" boxer shorts because he is far too old for cartoon characters. I wince all through football season because as much as I love the sport and he seems to enjoy it, I'm terrified he'll get broken. He reminds me at those times that he's not a little kid anymore, he can take it and take it he does.

I wonder now, what does one do when they're no longer Mommy but just plain Mom?